Not Responding: Don’t ya all get sick of this sh#t?

Microsoft forces an update.

Adobe requests an update. Fifth one this week. They keep trying to shove that McAfee BS on me. I already have it. Can’t their pink hairs figure that out yet?

Chrome wants to update. No, Chrome forces an update.

Microsoft updates again. And again. And again.

Terms of use are shoved into your face, via the screen. The screen man. Screen madness.

Google updates. No, I got rid of the Google search engine, too much BS and tracking. Too many changes. So I replaced Google with Duck Duck Go, and they update, too.

I get stood up on my updates, every time.

Gmail updates.

Tech company after social media company after whatever WTF company updates and forces or requests an update. Oh, yeah, let’s not forget WordPress and Blogger and Flogger and YouTube and PooTube.

Update and Update and Update.

And more NOT RESPONDING. NOT RESPONDING. NOT RESPONDING AND THE LITTLE BLUE WHEEL SYNDROME. AGAIN!

Often those updates are not fixing bugs or just fixing bugs, they are completely and in my opinion, fraudulently changing your computer or the software you bought and paid for. Or software you use by being forced to watch ads thereby which is the same as paying for it.

Often they (the Demons in Silicone Valley and Seattle and Utopia) completely change things so they are entirely different than they were before the update and you have to learn how to use the program all over again. As if I have the time. Do you? I don’t.

Imaginary Friend: (I hear his voice.) “Me neither!”
Me: “Shut UP!”
Imaginary Friend: “K.”

Tons of legal garbage to hogtie you with and force fornicate you to comply or else. If you don’t read it you may later be sorry. Very sorry. If you do read it you will fall asleep and completely forget whatever you were doing before the delivery of megatons of legal notices that surrender your rights, nearly all of them.

Wonder why I often call these turds communists?

Because they force you to do things you really don’t want to do rather than giving you an extended time frame to comply and explicit choice to volunteer. Force. They FORCE YOU. Like Mao. Like Kim Jung. Like Castro. Like Stalin. Yeah, those kinds of communists. Well maybe they aren’t that bad, BUT!!!

Tired of the PC running so slow after one of these updates? Or boatloads of updates?

Imaginary Friend: (I hear his voice, again.) “Maybe you have a hacker intruding upon your computer.”
Me: “Nope, we already checked that. You should have known that. And you know, how we completely delete and erase the hacker’s database if they get caught hacking us. The hard drive is gone. Right? Ya saw that done, right?”
Imaginary Friend: (Chuckling) “Funnier than the Benny Hill Show!”
Me: “Yup, now, shhhhh!”
Imaginary Friend: “K.”

These updates are often NOT compatible with each other. One tech company messes up the masterminds of another tech company, (sometimes on purpose… well maybe more than sometimes,) but Silicone Valley is not in a chaos of local revolts and neighborhood wars. They dine together for Christ sakes. But they blame YOU and try to weasel out of blame of themselves as they try to convince you that your computer runs slow because you installed or downloaded another app, software or something else they could blame. Maybe you visited a bad website.

Nope, that sh#t doesn’t work anymore. Been there, done that. Old story. Broken BS.

Imaginary Friend: “Suckered once, fool you. Suckered twice fool me. Huh?”
Me: “Yut.”
Imaginary Friend: “Been farmin’ long?”
Me: “SHUT UP!”
Imaginary Friend: “K.”

NO, I DID NOT DOWNLOAD ANYTHING NEW ON MY COMPUTER! The only download was your freaking UPDATE. SCREAM!

Imaginary Friend: (Louder) SCREAM!
Me: “Shhhh!”
Imaginary Friend: “K.”

Sigh, and just when I was going to write that masterpiece that would earn me the Nobel Peace Prize and a bunch of other awards from the candy store, here comes the update notice reading; UPDATING, PLEASE WAIT. GO TAKE A LUNCH BREAK. HAVE A BEER. GET LOST. And then followed by, NOT RESPONDING followed by here comes that little pisser of a spinning blue wheel.

I have Little Blue Wheel Syndrome to add to my list of illnesses.

Me: Do they have a disability for that?
Imaginary Friend: “Nope. Does not qualify.”
Me: Sigh! SIGH!

Not Responding. Psst… pink hairs why are you still in your mama’s basement? Trump is herr according to Parlor. This is the 21st Century. Get on the ball. You should make things better, not worst. You should make things easier, not harder. Life 101.

When all these tech companies decide they will UPGRADE your computer (at the same time no less) rather you like it or not and force you–WITHOUT YOUR ATTORNEY PRESENT–into agreements that will take Elizabeth Warren and Perry Mason decades to learn about, to figure out and defend against, let’s look at why sh#t goes into NOT RESPONDING mode.

(Forget the hackers, the downloading of software or apps or viruses or malware, [which can sometimes or even frequently be the problem,] it’s all in the updates. Incompatible updates.)

All these tech pink hairs which certainly graduated in the bottom feeder half of their class decide because their bottom-feeding boss tells them to make a change… (often to spy or eavesdrop on the victim user) you know HOPE with red and blue and shades thereof. And poof, they update. And busloads of pink hairs from a busload of tech companies do the same. You know we all copy each other because nobody has a brain between their ears for anything other than dull space. There is little or no unique ability anymore.

Bingo, all these upgrades to all these apps and software, and even hardware are not compatible with each other. Not that the pink hairs care or even do their freeloading masters, but just the same you are stuck with that little pisser of a blue wheel spinning and spinning and spinning. YOU MUST pause to wonder if that little pisser of a spinning blue wheel is powered by the Energizer battery or related to the Energizer bunny. I mean, there is evidence of the color pink in the genetics of their DNA, is there not?

Imaginary Friend: “LMFAO!”
Me: “SHHHHH!”

Imaginary Friend: “Why don’t they make that little spinning wheel pink?”
Me: “You finally said something intelligent.”

Imaginary Friend: “Can we call it Pink Hair Syndrome now?”
Me: “Hold that thought.”
Imaginary Friend: “K.”

(Imaginary Friend recites Congressional rehearsal:) “Whereas, WE THE PEOPLE, cast to the Dark Forest those individuals that ruin our day, or night.” (We can only HOPE.)
Me: “I think you are on to something.”
Imaginary Friend: “Me,too.”

Now, what was I going to write about in my Dark Forest novel that has been a work-in-progress for years and years?

I forgot. That little pisser of a blue wheel sucked up all my energy and frustration.

Alas.

Imaginary Friend: “Maybe you should ask Ian Morgan, he knows everything.”
Me: “K.”

Public Domain photos sourced from Wikipedia:
Wikipedia Computers